Age 10 i think. My next door neighbour who was a few years older put a pencil inside me. i remember it vaguely. i remeber being at the top of the stairs when it happened and i remember mum finding out and sitting me down and telling me about sex.
Age 12. A boy in the year below kept touching me up at school. i was too embarrassed to tell anyone and ashamed that i couldnt stick up to someone younger than me. i remember breaking down one night when i was in the bathroom at home and telling my dad what had happened. he then hold the headteacher who made me go into the playground and take her to the boy.
Age 14. I had moved to my second high school which was all girls. I started chatting on the internet to some lad from the boys school who was 18. we started seeing each other. he used to finger me in the park, i didnt understand it really and thought it was normal.the first time we had sex (the first time id ever had sex) he took me to this church as he had the keys to upstairs where he was doing maintanence work. it hurt too much and i asked him to stop. he did. a week later i go to his house and he asks to have sex again. i say no it hurt too much. he then dumped me.
Age 17. After work i go back to my bosses house. hes 42 and has 4 kids. he offeres me a glass of wine and some dope. while im in the kitchen he goes to the bedroom to make the bed. i cant go home because neither him nor i can drive after the drink. in some ways i was expecting what was about to happen to happen. in someways i wanted it too because it was a challenge. in other ways it was sick. i go to the bathroom to wash my face. he comes in and starts getting undressed. he then took me to bed. it was horrible. he said all this dirty stuff and after he came he wanted more. i got my clothes together and left. i drove to school and waited for 3 hours till the start.
Age 18. Im a mess. Uni is a mess. ive spent all my money on drugs and am dealing way too much. im in town flyering when i bump into my mates dad whos stag night i went on half a year before. he tells me that he can get me a job making proper money. i thought it was a receptionist job. he tells me hell pick me up the following day outside of my halls. he picks me up as arranged and drives for about an hour to this caravan him and his new wife own. he fucks me. its like some dirty porno and he is a dirty old man. i get £50.
this happens many times, in various places, sometimes in his car, in fields, in motels, hotels. it hurts but i deserve it.
